I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.

You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing.

I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'

.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

Then there’s the biggest problem of them all – the problem of being in an Audi TT when you are not called Angela. I do not know why it can be driven by only people named Angela, but that’s a fact and there’s nothing we can do about it. If you have a TT and you aren’t called Angela, you have the wrong car.