The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.

Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.