Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal.

When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?

If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.

Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.