If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude - it's not a holiday programme, it's the truth.
Jeremy ClarksonDriving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.
Jeremy ClarksonUnlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference.
Jeremy ClarksonThe air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.
Jeremy ClarksonThis is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying โOoh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.โ
Jeremy ClarksonIf I like somebody else's tribe I'm going to promote the hell out of it. The whole thing is a democracy, and if somebody's more popular then good luck to them.
Jeremy ClarksonBoredom forces you to ring people you havenโt seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order catalogues but also the advertising inserts that fall on the floor. Boredom gives you half a mind to get a gun and go berserk in the local shopping centre, and you know where this is going. Eventually, boredom means you will take up golf.
Jeremy Clarkson