If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he's never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn't walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn't have a dream of doing well.

Make film, shoot film, run film. Do something. Make film. Shoot anything.

You may catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you'll get them to work harder if you use a flyswatter.

I have nothing against women. As a matter of fact there's something about them that I love, but I just can't put my finger on it.

I've had the greatest respect for my work in this country by Americans. Critics have no brains.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.