You may catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you'll get them to work harder if you use a flyswatter.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was becoming very cognisant of my contribution to the American spirit of helping your fellow man and all of the good stuff.

The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he's never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn't walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn't have a dream of doing well.

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!

I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.

I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.