I've had the greatest respect for my work in this country by Americans. Critics have no brains.

People think I'm against critics because they are negative to my work. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is they didn't see the work. I have seen critics print stuff about stuff I cut out of the film before we ran it. So don't tell me about critics.

I have nothing against women. As a matter of fact there's something about them that I love, but I just can't put my finger on it.

Make film, shoot film, run film. Do something. Make film. Shoot anything.

From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems.

When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man.

Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.