What is the story with the airport sinks, that they will not give us a twist-on twist-off human faucet. "Is it that too risky for the human population? We have to do the one-handed pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style faucets. "What is it they think we will do? Turn 'em all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes?
Jerry SeinfeldGolf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for โGet Out, Leave Family.โ
Jerry SeinfeldI am a very organized person. I get up at 6:15 a.m., the kids get up at 6:45 a.m., and so I get up and get it in. Iโm addicted to the high function. To me itโs a work thing - if you meditate, you can get so much work done. I always say to people you know how about three nights a year you get a good night sleep? You can have it every day with meditation.
Jerry SeinfeldWell, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
Jerry SeinfeldOf course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
Jerry Seinfeld