Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.

I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.

This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.

[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.