Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.

There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.

I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

Ever noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.