I love the day date. No wine, no shower.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?

Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people."