When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.

I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you can sprinkle that on, that's your answer.

If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved.

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?

We got the hot fudge on the bottom.... that allows you to control the fudge distribution while you're eating your ice cream.

Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people."

That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.