The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.

I love advertising because I love lying.