To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.

I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.

There's a tremendous power and energy in sharing your life with another person.

The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.

If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?