I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.

I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we needed to invent the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we were involved in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads. We chose not to avoid doing those activities but, instead, to come up with some sort of device to help us enjoy our head-cracking lifestyles.

I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.

Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire

The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.