You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way. 'When do you get off work?' 'Around 3 miles.'
Jerry SeinfeldI think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
Jerry SeinfeldCremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened.
Jerry Seinfeld[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.
Jerry Seinfeld