Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic.

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

Folks who go through the tabloids ought to have to be lied to.

The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, "Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head." I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings.

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.