Can't you at least die with a little dignity?

If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,"Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?"

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."

The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.