A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door; the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, He's back. It's that guy, that same guy. He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. Another can of food? I don't believe it.

On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'

Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.

A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.