I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?

Any day you had gym class was a weird school day. It started off normal. You had English, Social Studies, Geometry, then suddenly your in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes. Your hanging from a rope, you have hardly any clothes on, teachers are yelling at you, kids are throwing dodge balls at you and snapping towels - you're trying to survive. And then it's Science,Language, and History. Now that is a weird day.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?