People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.

No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.