Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?

I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.

Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?

Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.