I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.

Men want to make women happy.

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.

See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.

I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.

I am speechless: I have no speech