I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.

You can be passionate about anything.

And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful! Plus, I love saying 'my wife.' Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop - 'my wife' this, 'my wife' that...it's an amazing way to begin a sentence.