When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.

I love being a dad. I just love it.

The best revenge is living well.

I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.

I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in the world... 1400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go.