Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in the world... 1400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go.
Jerry SeinfeldThe whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.
Jerry SeinfeldThe only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do.
Jerry SeinfeldWhen men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
Jerry SeinfeldA dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door; the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, He's back. It's that guy, that same guy. He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. Another can of food? I don't believe it.
Jerry Seinfeld