We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.

I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.

I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.