Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.

You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.

I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'

People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

I only do a show when there's somebody I want to talk to.