The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

The Olympics is my favourite sporting event. Although I have a problem with that silver medal. When you think about it, you win the gold - you feel good, you win the bronze - you think, 'Well at least I got something'. But when you win silver, it's like, 'Congratulations, you 'almost' won. Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. You're the number one 'loser.' No one lost ahead of you.