Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, "Look, gas, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy... Get off here, now!" But the man is focusing on the sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 miles," and he thinks, "I can make it."
Jerry SeinfeldThe human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
Jerry SeinfeldEver noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?
Jerry SeinfeldWhat's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.
Jerry Seinfeld