Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. "He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!"

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.

Having fun is a very particular skill. And not everyone has that skill.

On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'