It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!

I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.

There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we needed to invent the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we were involved in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads. We chose not to avoid doing those activities but, instead, to come up with some sort of device to help us enjoy our head-cracking lifestyles.

Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.

Why would anybody want a friend?