You don’t have to run faster than the bear to get away. You just have to run faster than the guy next to you.

Whenever it gets too dark, think of the good things you have, the good times you've had. It will help. I promise.

Honey, I liked the Harry Potter movies, too, but that doesn’t mean I ran out and got a Dark Mark tattooed onto my left forearm like you did.

Thomas has the kind of whiter-than-white boyish grin that makes women's panties spontaneously evaporate.

Not that I was worried about anyone stealing my car. I once had a car thief offer to get me something better for a sweetheart rate.

All of those faeries and duels and mad queens and so on, and no one quoted old Billy Shakespeare. Not even once.

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.