The early bird gathers no moss! The rolling stone catches the worm.

There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that's going to eat you.

I don't hate you for loving you. I just hate my heart for choosing someone like you.

I've always believed that you can funnel good things toward yourself by thinking positiviely.

Humor is not debatable. It's like sex. Either you're aroused or you're not. Nobody can reason you around to their point of view.

I'm talkin' about a place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talkin' about Aspen.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.