It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.

You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'

The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.

You didn't question - kind of like, you would go to college. You would wear a tie to work. You would, you know, you would work for 40 years. And then you would play golf for three years, and then you would die. That was how I was raised.

I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.