But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.

One thing I'm afraid of is not taking advantage of opportunities. I feel like these are kind of gifts.

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

It's kind of hard to articulate, but, like, this notion of mercy, forgiveness, was very appealing for me. It was very profound. And it had a deep impact, and I think it still does.