I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.

Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.

I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.

I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.

I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life.