I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.

Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.

If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.