I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.

I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"

I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.

Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

I love my career, but I feel like you've got to babysit a lot of aspects of things. Assuming that things will be handled properly is just naive. But I think that's anyone's life, right? Even if you're running a construction site, it doesn't matter if you've been doing it for 20 years, you're still going to be blindsided by someone's incompetence or indifference.

If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here under this naïve belief that someone in Hollywood is going, "Gaffigan! What kind of a show can I build around him?" So you have to find things that can showcase your point of view.