I kind of consider myself... I mean, I try to have my comedy be accessible, and if people are paying $30 to see me in a theater and they want to have their picture taken with me, it's not the end of the world. It's one of those things, where I'm not the only comic who does it. A lot of comics do it. If I'm doing a 4,000-seat venue, it might be a little bit of a different task, but it's all good.

I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliché to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.

After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!

Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

I grew up in Sheepshead Bay.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.