You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! "Hey I got a - who cares."
Jim GaffiganI initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.
Jim GaffiganI love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
Jim GaffiganI married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy"... My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family." Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
Jim Gaffigan