Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and theyโre attractive, you think, โOh, theyโre nice,โ but if a strangerโs ugly, youโre like, โWhat do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
Jim GaffiganThe reason I say I'm a horrible person is I don't want myself to be presented as somebody who's a great Catholic.
Jim GaffiganWhy do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.
Jim GaffiganI'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
Jim Gaffigan