I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!"

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?

I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.

How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.