I recently bought extreme chunky peanut butter. I opened it up.. .it was just peanuts. Wow that is extreme!

"Entertainers Of Faith," funnyman Jim Gaffigan isn't ashamed of his Catholicism. He's seen here leaving a New York comedy club with his Bible in hand.

I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there.

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.

Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.

Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.