Cancer is always funny.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?

The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show.

I need the concept of mercy for me to have some semblance of self-admiration. So in real life, I'm probably somebody who is more devout.

Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.

The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.