All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.

The entertainment business is such a strange, crazy perception business that you're either given way too much respect, like people saying, "You should be the head of the sitcom!" Or you're given no respect, where they're like, "You should audition to be the garbage man that lives four houses down."

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside.

The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone.