It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.

I recently bought extreme chunky peanut butter. I opened it up.. .it was just peanuts. Wow that is extreme!

I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.