I'm afraid of a couple things. I'm afraid of getting caught up in other people's expectations, because I feel like that's an ongoing battle.

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

A lot of the teachings really kind of keep me grounded.

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.