In stand up, you get an awareness of how you come across, but in acting there is almost a hyper-awareness on how you might be physically perceived.

Every morning I hear the alarm, it's like "BEEP BEEP BEEP" For second I'm like, "I could get used to that, just dream I'm in a techno club, or something."

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.