It really never came up, but I think that in present-day America, they're - you know, and I touched on it in the initial clip - is that we are in the middle of this culture war.

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?

I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.

I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling."

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."