I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?

I love my career, but I feel like you've got to babysit a lot of aspects of things. Assuming that things will be handled properly is just naive. But I think that's anyone's life, right? Even if you're running a construction site, it doesn't matter if you've been doing it for 20 years, you're still going to be blindsided by someone's incompetence or indifference.

I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.