I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.

The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.

I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."

It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.