I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.

I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the human experience, you know, whether they're people of any stripes of life.

My new years resolution? I will be less laz.

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.